"Be an eagle, not a turkey"

or, "If you follow the flock, you could end up a lamb chop."
or, "If you're not the lead dog, the view never changes."

Yes, Dad. I know, Dad. (those were my responses.) All of that started at a very early age, along with a small collection of buttons that said "Question Authority." When I was in high school, Dad cut out a paragraph from a newspaper interview with Margaret Thatcher. She said that her father had taught her "never to do things because other people are doing them; do what you think is right and persuade others to follow you." The last line of the paragraph (which I still have to this day) said, "It was a tough upbringing."

I guess all of Dad's insistence on "go your own way" and "question authority" has managed to force these concepts into my subconscious. I firmly believe that just because something has always been done a certain way doesn't mean there isn't a better way to do it today. It seems like common sense to me, but apparently it's not so common after all.

I was reading today about the "sexualization" of little girls in the Washington Post, [let's leave aside the "well, duh!" aspect of the article, which says that females are sexualized in the media, and that leads to eating disorders, low self-esteem and depression. No, really?] and one mother's quote hit home:

"It's not so much a feminist thing," explains Guay, a Gaithersburg medical transcriptionist. "It's more that I want her to be comfortable with who she is and to make decisions based on what's right for her, not what everybody else is doing. I want her to develop the strength that when she gets to a point where kids are offering her alcohol or drugs, that she's got enough self-esteem to say, 'I don't want that.' "

I never equated self-esteem with the strength to say no to alcohol or drugs, but I totally agree. Peer pressure in high school is an ugly thing -- especially at an all-girls school. I turned down drugs and alcohol (ok, I admit, I drank a little, but not as much as some of my friends!) because, seeing how it made my friends look and act, I didn't want to be that person, falling-down-drunk, or puking in the bathroom (or anywhere else) or worse yet, blacking out and not remembering the fun at all. I had more fun watching the drunk people act stupid! I was also fortunate that I had some non-drinking friends to hang out with.

I only hope that when I have a daughter (someday), I have the courage to help her be her own person, instead of "following the flock." And I really feel for my brother and sister-in-law, and my friends with daughters... I've seen the teen and pre-teen clothing in the stores, and I know my parents would NEVER have let me out of the house looking like that! I wish them all luck in keeping their daughters looking like little girls as long as possible.

p.s. Thanks, Dad. :)